I know what you are going to ask me.
I broke down crying around 11pm tonight.
The pain in my chest threatened to render me in two.
I think God was using me to help share this load with you.
This feeling, an old acquaintance I had hoped to never meet again, is not close to me, but I feel it is close to you.
A feeling of loss and surrender; of utter desolation,
the feeling of doubt and pain so acute you can hardly breathe.
I know these feelings so well, they whispered in your heart that they are the truest and closest of friends, the only ones you could count on.
False hisses that make the battle fierce to find Joy and Truth and most importantly what is True Love.
So, I know what you’re going to ask me.
I spent my day in prayer and meditation,
where you flooded my soul and mind.
I couldn’t shed this shared burden between us,
what to say and how to be kind.
I could see the troubles ahead,
the house of cards ready to fall.
your deep hurting cut me most of all.
What would help down this barren road?
How should I warn you of the different paths I saw?
And where should I point you to keep your heart supple?
Will you even hear me through your life’s rubble?
Now I, so lost and confused, search the Word and God for answers to give you; Because I know what you’re going to ask me.
You will ask,
How do I survive this unconsumed by hate and anger?
Is there recovery for this?
Or is ignorance of hard, healing choices a better bliss?
Why this testing?
Why now?
I know what you’re going to ask me,
and I think I can tell you how the pain isn’t constant even though it is poignant.
How you can survive with The Savior by your side.
I’ll tell you, while this time of grief will feel as though your next breath will strangle; this is the time that you need to let God breathe into every angle.
Now you are going to ask me the hardest questions of all…
When does this persisting agony stop?
When will they pay?
How long till the hurt truly goes away?
And then I will pray that you will not take any steps in haste.
That you will learn the God of love’s sweet and healing taste.
Do not close your heart out of fear of hurt.
But that you would let our Savior fill you and make this a time of rebirth.
And please I beg of you don’t turn to the world standard.
Because the isle of me is the doctrine to which they pander.
I would ask you to pray to The Lord ‘be my strength’
He will tell you at great length…
‘I will give you beauty for ashes’.
In mythology the phoenix rises, but I tell you with Christ as your savior we rise.
For He knows what the phoenix does not…
He knows our pain and sorrow, for every now and tomorrow.
He knows the bitter taste of betrayal, while you already feel so frail.
He knows ours and every other future; He is your strong and quiet shepherd.
He has fought and won the battle and triumphed over evil’s best mettle.
And if you ask Him to step in to heal your gashes,
You will see the beauty He sees in your ashes.
He will be your rock and fortress,
He will show you peace and comfort’s face.
But most of all,
He will show you the rhythm of His grace.
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